PART 1: The First Meeting
This is a three part summery of my three full dose DPT experiences. I find this tryptamine most intriguing in that it consistently produces an intense fear reaction every time I take it. In spite of that, I have never had a "bad trip" on DPT, or any psychedelic for that matter. I have always had something meaningful come from one of those types of experiences. DPT is the only tryptamine I have sampled, other than psilocybin/psilocin. I was initially attracted to the substance after reading of several experiments conducted with DPT on terminal cancer patients. Most of the patients who received DPT reported having a peak experience that helped them accept their death in a positive fashion.
I chose to insufflate 100 mg, after a previous botched oral DPT/MAOI experiment. It was around 5:30 in the afternoon. Before my experiments with DPT, I had the silly belief that I would always be able to handle the effects of a psychedelic, no matter how uncomfortable it might become. Having recently survived several ridiculously heavy-dose solo 2C-T-7 trips (one at 70 mg), I thought I could take just about anything. DPT put me right back in my proper place.
It took around 15 minutes for the effects to begin. It did not really burn that bad, but the drip was just as unpleasant as I had heard it described. I was a little uncomfortable during the onset, so I decided to take a walk outside to become one with nature. At first, I just found myself trying to analyze what the DPT was actually doing to me. I found the visuals interesting. There was nothing colorful or mind blowing as with LSD or 2C-T-7, but the world was definitely churning and active. It produced nice trails, and reminded me of a somewhat toned down LSD. As I continued walking, the effects grew alarmingly intense and intrusive, so I decided to turn around and head home. I started experiencing the intense body vibrations I had heard DPT could produce and noticed I was breathing strange, almost like I was struggling to catch my breath. I was alarmed because I couldn't tell if I was imagining this problem, or I was actually having a negative physical reaction to the DPT. It was also very hot outside, and I felt like I might pass out any minute. It seemed like it took me forever to get home, and I felt just like a mad man roaming the streets.
When I made it in, I went to my bedroom and put on some music. This was about 6:15. All at once, a hole was punched between the boundary that normally separates my psyche from the outside world/universe/God, and I experienced the DPT peak. I was swept into a classic +4 indescribable mystical experience. As this was going on I thought to myself, what could be better than to push further with a dose of nitrous oxide? Nothing; so I did it, and that's where the trouble started.
The nitrous trip itself was blissful as always (nitrous + a psychedelic is my FAVIORITE artificial experience) but when I returned, the DPT effects were out of control and down right frightening. The only thing I was experiencing was classic unadulterated fear that rivaled the fear I experienced during my best (and most frighteningly earth-shattering) LSD trip. It almost reminded me of things I had read about 5-MeO-DMT, except the effects were not over in five minutes and I was having visuals. There was nothing I could do to talk myself down, no matter what I tried. I was so uncomfortable, I had to call my friend W to come over and rescue me. That had never happened before. He said when he saw me I looked like a scared child.
Soon after W arrived, around 7:00, I was no longer frightened. I just needed someone who could help to get me grounded. After that, I enjoyed the waning effects of the DPT. By 9:00, I was pretty much baseline. I was completely stunned by the experience and left in a state of awe. In the space of about three hours I had a trip that brought me to God, the Devil and back.
PART 2: The Rematch
I foolishly decided to sample DPT again, in the same 100 mg dose, soon after my first experience. I could not understand why I freaked out so bad, and I really wanted to examine the effects again. It occurred to me that my reaction might have been due to the nitrous oxide, so I decided to leave that out of the picture. I also had become preoccupied with the astonishing nature of the experience itself and simply desired to go back.
It was midnight when I took the powder up my nose. The effects came on sooner than they did the first time, probably because I knew what to look for. I started to feel the panicky sensations again, so I put on some pleasing music…The Concert for Bangla Desh by George Harrison, with Bob Dylan and others. The music was beautiful and intense. In fact, it was so intense it almost sounded distorted. I was experiencing quite a rush from the effects, and it actually reminded me of Salvia divinorum. I found my hands raised up to the sky during "A Hard Rain's A Gonna Fall" by Dylan and the hole between the boundaries of the universe and myself opened up as it did before. But that heavenly experience only lasted for a brief moment.
My feelings of bliss were soon replaced with fear like I have never felt before. It is a complete understatement to just say I was totally wigging out. No, I was having a hard core freak-out. There was no insight, no profound sensations, just fright. The music I was listening to suddenly started sounding like it was being sung by pure evil, so I threw the headphones off my head faster than I actually thought about doing it. I was in a total state of chemical psychosis. This was about 12:45.
Back when I was a stupid teenager, I experimented with Freon a few times. The DPT was now producing roughly the same effects; it was an altered state of consciousness of unbelievable intensity that was completely indisputably EVIL. But this was 100 times worse than Freon, and Freon only lasted for a minute or so. Everything I looked at seemed poisonous, hideous, and disturbing to my eyes. Nothing I could do would make it better. Worse, I was by myself and there was no one who I could call for help without having to wake somebody up from a sound sleep. Even worse than that, I felt bad and was embarrassed to have to depend on someone else for comfort as a result of my psychedelic material usage.
I took a shower to calm myself, but this only made it worse. I was hearing menacing, psychotic-sounding tryptamine noises. I was also having weird thoughts that are too complex to describe, but were very disturbing. Thoughts and ideas were running through my head at an uncontrollable speed. During the 1950's, psychedelic drugs were studied as a possible tool for inducing a controlled state of psychoses. That is where I was, except this was uncontrolled and I was all alone in the middle of the night. I was experiencing every sensation of every bad trip I had read about. Then it really dawned on me; I did not even have a good reason for taking DPT in the first place. I pretty much did it to just because of curiosity and disbelief over my first trip on it. I was not taking it to become one with God, or to expand my mind, I took it to see what would happen. Now as a result, the DPT was giving me the biggest psychedelic ass kicking of my life. At the time, I believed I was having my first true bad trip.
I got into the fetal position in a corner of my study, determined to ride the trip out. Unfortunately, sitting there was like sitting with an active electric chord in your mouth; one could only take so much. In an attempt to ground myself, I tried to log onto the Internet as a form of communication with the outside world, but it did not help. Finally, around 1:30 AM, I decided to call someone. I felt so bad to have to bother someone this late, but I had to do what I had to do. I called a few local friends, but no one answered their phone. I also called my out-of-town ex-girlfriend for comfort, but she did not answer. My situation was desperate, and I almost felt like my life was hanging on the line. I needed to talk to someone. Never had I felt so helpless in my life.
Around 2:00 AM, I finally started coming down. Gradually, the state of constant fear and panic was interrupted by brief moments of light. Eventually, the light took over with only brief interruptions of panic and fear. I eventually fell asleep around 4:00.
While most people would consider this to be a bad trip, it was far from that. You see, I learned quite a valuable lesson. Before that experience happened, I had pretty much lost my respect for psychedelic drugs. Not only had I started to believe I would never "loose my shit" like I did, but I was also doing a lot of tripping for the sake of tripping. I personally see nothing wrong with the occasional recreational experience, but I have always consider a psychedelic trip to be a holy experience. Thing is, I had not been treating it in that manner. That trip forced me to respect these tools in a way I used to, but had not in a long time.
PART 3: Expectance
It was several weeks before I decided to return to DPT, and I felt real positive about my decision. I waited for the right set and setting to be available for me before I went back. This time, I had a babysitter for the entire experience, and I chose to take it outside in nature. We found a nice spot in the woods by a river, and I took 100 mg of DPT by way of nose. It was around 10:00 PM and the surroundings were beautiful, and the weather was warm. My friend B used no DPT, but he had a small amount of liquor. Within 10 minutes after insufflated, the usual fear reaction I have to DPT crept in. I sat up, with my head between my knees. B asked me if everything was O.K and I told him I was freaking again, and I would just have to ride it out. But my friend wanted to help me, so he started to guide my trip.
I have been the one who accompanied B on his first, and subsequent, psychedelics trips, so this was kind of his turn to help me out. Him being there and talking to me did not take any of the bad feelings away, but it helped me to bring forth good ones. It was amazing. At times, my sole existence was his words. Another way of saying that is my ego was the words he was saying, and nothing more. Whatever he talked about, I became. He told me all of the things I told him on his previous trips to help him out, and that brought forth the opening of the universe as has happened on the other two DPT trips.
I remember at one point remarking to B that I was experiencing utter terror and complete bliss at the same time. Take my word, it is incredible to experience two totally opposite emotions simultaneously. I know I'll never forget it. In addition, the DPT was causing me to have 100s of thoughts at once. I mean my mind was in overdrive. B actually said I was glowing and he could see and feel the energy radiating from me. He could tell just from my appearance that I was having a very special experience. At one point, my body merged with the rocks I was sitting on, and I became one with my surroundings. My ego completely slipped away. It was unbelievably intense and beautiful.
Soon after that, I took a hit of nitrous oxide, and had the usual blissful experience. While I was out exploring the nitrous dimension, B was watching me and as he later told me, "Things were happening to me that don't normally happen on alcohol."
B suddenly received a contact DPT trip. Our thought and minds were totally connected. He was even having visuals and remarked that the trees were melting in exactly the same way as they did on his first woodrose seed trip. He pondered on the current events of his life and began to have a spiritual experience. I was not too surprised, because I had heard of this happening before, but it was still amazing.
After the nitrous oxide, most traces of terror disappeared. Occasionally, I would feel it return but it was never a problem. I simply laid back and enjoyed the afterglow of the DPT peak, and the nitrous oxide trip. B and I continued to trip together, and we resolved a current conflict between us. It seems we opened up to each in the manner MDMA is known for. I talked with him about personal elements of my life that I had previously only shared with one other person. It was a monumental moment for me.
We spent an hour or so talking besides the stream. I enjoyed the waning DPT effects and had some pleasant visuals. The leaves flowing by in the stream resembled alligators swimming down river that were completely submerged, other than the head. I also had some really nice trails on a cigarette, and the trees looked computer generated.
B continued to experience the DPT contact trip for some time. Eventually we parted ways, and B reported that his trip ended around this time. His contact trip was pretty amazing considering he even had visuals. I will say I looked at his pupils in the light, and they were dilated. Very strange. Even though I was tripping, I was certain of what I saw.
Well, my third DPT experience was one of the best trips I had in a long time. It felt so good to open up to B and talk about what was on my mind. I felt reborn, remade, and spiritually renewed after that night. I have learned that DPT is going to produce the fear reaction in me, no matter what. It is just the nature of the drug. Perhaps upon further experimentation that will change. I will never forget freaking out, and having one of the most pleasurable psychedelic experiences of my life at the exact same moment in time.
DPT is a drug I now have the up-most respect for, and I will always use it in a respectful manner. No psychedelic I have tried is more effective at instantly breaking down the boundary between the universe and I as DPT has. It is a psychedelic I plan on taking two or three times a year to really shake me out of my cozy little rut. Please approach this tryptamine wisely, and with caution. Although most of the DPT reports I have read suggest my reactions to it were a little extreme, probably due to the higher dose I took; one never knows how they react to a psychedelic until they take it. Be careful.